You know, it doesn't matter if if you have 700 pages to read in 4 days to prepare for your exams. It doesn't matter that you have 2 3-hour papers on the same day and it doesn't matter that you're sick and tired of studying so much.

Because what everyone else will say is simply, "Well, you're still going to get your As anyway. I'm sure you can do it. Gold medallist ley."

And it doesn't occur to anyone that assuming even if the A was guaranteed, I still have to go through a hellish 4 days to read 700 pages of textbook, not including side notes and worksheets and homework solutions, working 15-18 hours a day and feeling like you're on the edge of a fever for that 4 days. And that A is not guaranteed, because God has made it abundantly clear to me on several occasions throughout my years of studies that I'm not a talented genius and while my hard work will not necessarily earn His blessings of a good grade, if i choose not to work hard at all, I will definitely not get a good grade.

So why do I want a good grade again? No, I'm not interested in a good grade. I just want to do my best. It's a responsibility. And doing my best means a hellish week of reading a ton of lecture notes while on the brink of a fever. Whether you get A or not. And I know people who do less for an A. But still i do what I do cos it's a responsibility.

So while i had to work the skin of my teeth off in that week, all anyone else have to do in that same week is to lay back, watch TV and chill out until the week is passed. Not that I blame them cos there's really nothing much they can do for me anyway.

But my point being, no one really understands. In that week or that 4 days, I'm tired, stressed out and alone.(Well, somehow I always survive, so maybe God did something to me during that week, so maybe I'm not really alone).

And then when the results are released...

"See, I was right wasn't I? You got your A. So stressed out for what, right?"

or

"Oh man, what happened? Well, better luck next time."

Overheard at a guitar store.

(Boss announcing to employees)

"Ok, so we'll be having a weekend competition. The winner gets a voucher, the runner-up a lunch treat. From Dunkin Donut. And the one with the least sales by the end of this week will have to clean the bathroom for the next 2 weeks."

You really should start appreciating your boss. Well, unless you ARE employed to do restroom hygiene in the first place.

"Oh, so you're from Singapore?"

"Yeah! You know the place?"

"Isn't it where they cane you for doing something wrong?"

T.T|||

So THAT's what we're known for.

Note: Perhaps we can get even more tourism in Singapore if we market ourselves the big, scary nation with a huge cane. People will flock to Singapore just like they flock to Salem during Halloween.

Just Because

Just because you learned to walk before everyone else
doesn't mean you'll do well in primary school.
Just because you did well in primary school
doesn't mean you'll do well in secondary school.
Just because you did well in secondary school
doesn't mean you'll do well in pre-U.
Just because you did well in pre-U
doesn't mean you'll do well in college.
Just because you did well in college
doesn't mean you'll end up with a good career.
Just because you got a good career
doesn't mean you'll do something worthwhile.
Just because you did something worthwhile
doesn't mean you'll be wealthy.
Just because you became wealthy
doesn't mean you'll live to a ripe old age.
Just because you lived to a ripe old age
doesn't mean you'll die.
Ok, fine, so you will die.
But just because you died
doesn't mean you'll leave life satisfied.

There are many traps and false successes leading to an empty life. Failures help you figure out the things that truly matter.

The only thing we really create in this life is memories.

Everything else is derived.

Of all the wise things that the Pastor preached today, one thing on which the cornerstone of my faith is based on, moved me the most --

"I may be dumbfounded with the profound philosophical questions atheists raise, but I'll never forget my encounter with Christ."

Today i looked up at the sky and thanked God for letting me know Him. Because of Him, I have a purpose in life, and I realized that with a purpose in life, no one can have anything else more than me.

Life is beautiful.

Walking around Salem in the rain today has taught me a great irony. Where once upon a time witchery was persecuted and hunted without regards to the truth and lies, it has now been tolerated, exploited and celebrated in Salem, still without regards to the truth and lies of witchcraft. History has made us none the wiser in this case except perhaps that a particular mechanical engineering principle can be aptly transposed into life – Push something too hard, and it’d break and become loose forever. Pressure is supposed to be applied to the right points at the right time, not everywhere all the time.

At the ripe old age of 24, I realise that

Life is nothing more than a journey to know God better.

I fell from my bed this morning.

My alarm clock rang, and in my half-dazed state, I rolled over and push myself up with my left hand, which, on normal days when that worked fine, would prop me upright from the sleeping position with my feet on the ground in one smooth action. But today, my left arm decided to forsake my instructions, because apparently sometime during my sleep, I had pressed on it and it had gone numb. And thus, I landed with a 'thud!' on my carpeted floor. Thankfully, I escaped with only a scraped knee and nasty awakening.

Then I went to church. And then I realised something. It's funny how all these realisations I get don't quite often correspond to what the pastor is speaking about. And this is what I realised --

When I landed on the floor of my room this morning, I felt like Jesus.

Or maybe, Jesus felt like me. See, according to the Bible, all Christians are a part of Christ's body. Each part of the body is supposed to be connected by nerves to Him, so that when He sends us a message, we will act accordingly so that His will can be done.

That's the ideal case. As most of us know, it doesn't happen very often.

We often question why He wants us to do certain things that appear to make no sense. Sometimes it may be because we may not be able to see what He wants to do in totality. But the truth is, we don't trust that He knows what He's asking for. There's a lack of faith.

Imagine He asks you to push the bed. Imagine He asks you to touch the floor. Imagine he asks you to contract. You wouldn't be able to tell that He's asking you to push the bed and contract yourself as a muscle so that Him and all other parts of the body can become upright, and you wouldn't know that He asked you to touch the floor as feet so that His entire body can rest on your solid foundations. Most times we just lament,"Why did you bring me so low? I'm groveling under everyone else! Did I not serve you with all my heart? Where's the glory in rubbing against the floor?" We wouldn't know that we're the most important part of the body on which all other parts and Jesus is relying so much on. We couldn't see just how glorious our tasks are.

And I wouldn't say that that's because Jesus deliberately chooses to keep silent about the big picture. After all, the Bible mentioned that God does not move ahead with any plan without first revealing to His servants, the prophets. Other times, maybe all He wanted was just a bit of faith from us. How tiresome it would be if everytime I moved my arm I had to explain to it what I was trying to make it do in the big picture. Nevertheless, I find myself unable to deny that Jesus just might do such a thing. Well, I have to admit, I'm way less patient with my body than Jesus is with His.

So you see, if you can take a look at Jesus' entire body, you might be shocked. His body is us, and we're really not doing so great sometimes. Therefore, I think Jesus is actually pretty paralysed. There are parts of His body that he just can't get His messages and therefore His will across. And then there are parts where He can get His will across, but those parts just refuse to move according to His will, but rather, they follow their own ideas of where to go. The nerves are alive in these regions. but they can't control the muscles.

Based on this, I therefore postulate that Jesus has epilepsy, or at least some form of muscular dysfunctional illness. His hands and fingers would be all twisted up and occasionally subjected to spasms, and His lips might be contorted such that drool continuously flows out by the edge of his mouth. He'd certainly be in a wheelchair, since his legs would be paralysed and subjected to severe osteoporosis. He can't eat, since his stomach refuses to take His daily bread and living water and He wheezes because His lungs had a falling out with one another over who's inflating and contracting the right way, and are not operating in tandem, as each has decided to fly solo. He can't see as a result of severe glaucoma, because those who are His eyes refused to take in the light of the world and choose to cloud the light and dwell in darkness instead.

What's more, there are parts of Him that is just rotting away; those infected, festering wounds that just would not close up. It starts with some cut into His body at some point, introducing a few cells (we call them terrorists) which start infecting the surrounding parts of the body. Those who are His immune system overreacts and sent soldiers there to bomb, shoot and completely annihilate any of those cells, and they don't care if they take down some healthy, innocent cells in the process. These wounds take a long time to heal under normal circumstances, but they're not even starting to heal yet. The situation in these parts of the body is tensed and may grow worse.

And lastly, Jesus is most definitely battling cancer. The widespread ideologies that premarital and promiscuous sex are acceptable, that money is king, atheism, pride over humility etc. are running rampant over his body causing many many parts to malfunction and perform duties that they were never meant for. As these damaged cells reproduce, they pass on these damaged, cancerous genes to the next generation, so that the cancer is spreading quickly and effectively, threatening to engulf His body entirely.

On a brighter note, there are also portions of His body that have remained faithful, as they try their very best to battle off the cancers, infections and they are also trying to grow new nerve cells into deadened flesh and trying bring back muscles that have gone AWOL so that Jesus can do what He wants, which is to repair His entire body. But these faithful portions of His body are not many, and I imagine Jesus is frustrated, because there is so much He wants to do for us, but because of our disobedience and deviations, all He can do right now and sit in a wheelchair and drool.

I am also inclined to postulate that Jesus' body is that of a child's. After all, he did say that only little children can enter the Kingdom of Heaven. And although His body (us) is rotting away, His mind (Him) remains holy, clear and without sin.

So to sum it all up, there is a child, maybe about 5 years old, who is paralysed waist down, epileptic with maybe Parkinson's disease, cannot eat or drink, is blind and has festering wounds and cancerous cells, in the form of tumors, all over His body. Plus, His lips are contorted and He's drooling.

Do you love Jesus? Does it not pain you to see His body fading away even as His mind and guidance remains so holy and pure? Can you feel His frustration each time we give up on Him or turn our back on Him? There's so much He can do and wants to do for us, but because one part is not willing to give in to Him so that He can help another part of His body, it has simply degenerated into a complete mess. It might seem like a losing battle, but have faith. Everyone's contribution counts. Please help by doing His will instead of yours.

Help, so that if ever Jesus wants to get off the bed next time, he would not land on the floor with a "thud" and a scraped knee, with a soreness in His heart that His left arm betrayed Him. Funny how I should feel like Jesus when I fall. Funnier still, that I actually wondered to God immediately after the fall,"Why'd you let me fall for? What lesson can I learn and how on earth can I get to know you better with this silly incident of pure carelessness?"

He certainly doesn't disappoint with His answers and I suppose I am a nerve cell right now, trying to transmit this message across to you.

So in a way, it was for you I fell. Don't let my fall be in vain, please.

"My love is imperfect. But in my love, I give without asking for returns.

So when she said,'Give Him back to me,' and He said,'Give her back to Me,' I gave in and gave up for I do love them both dearly.

And I also found out that the hardest thing for a determined person to do, is to let go.

But love always prevails."

--In conversation with Anon.